When we face internal threats, like challenging emotions such as fear and sadness, our instinctive survival response—what I like to call our "old operating system"—isn't always equipped to handle modern-day problems effectively. For example, when you're anxious about a big presentation or feeling down after a tough conversation, your natural reaction might be to protect yourself by pushing away, suppressing, or fighting against these unpleasant emotions. If our survival instincts go into overdrive, we can become overwhelmed and consumed by these emotions, just like when you can't stop thinking about a stressful event and it starts affecting your whole day.
When we're stuck in survival mode without a way to regulate our energy, we become disconnected from a wealth of other resources that could help us address our challenges and alleviate our suffering. This is where our newer operating system comes into play. While we are naturally wired for protection and survival, we are equally wired for connection and thriving. When our nervous systems feel safe and regulated, our bodies can focus on growth, health, and recovery. For instance, when you feel calm and secure, you're more likely to be creative at work, have meaningful conversations with friends, or approach problems with a clearer mind. Our social engagement system activates, enabling connection, care, creativity, broader perspectives, compassion, and self-compassion. These inner resources equip us to better handle modern challenges, particularly when dealing with difficult emotions.
Given our tendency to resist, fight, or become engulfed by these intense inner disturbances, how can we better support ourselves when these unpleasant emotions arise? How do we access all our resources, including those of our newer operating system, amidst strong inner turbulence?
Here are 3 perspectives you can adopt to help shift your vantage point when facing difficult emotions:
1. View Emotions as Messengers: Instead of seeing your fear or sadness as enemies, try to view them as messengers with important information. .
2. Practice Self-Compassion: When you're feeling down, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.
3. Focus on Connection: Reach out to someone you trust and share what you're going through. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can help you gain a new perspective and feel more supported.
📌 I feel that part of my self-compassion is treating myself like a child who loves to play and doesn't care about others' opinions, allowing me to think differently and feel free.
📌 You can benefit from a book: You Don't Have to Change to Change Everything: Six Ways to Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy and Find True Well-Being Paperback by Beth Kurland (Author)
Amani Jouza 17/5/2024